Lord of the Ring

Several years ago I began getting to know a 94 year old customer, Wilma, at the large retail center where I work. Though she is small and frail physically, I quickly discovered that she has a sharp mind and a quick wit. Every Tuesday she meanders with her walker across the large store to the book section, finds a book to read that week, then continues meandering throughout the large store for the rest of her groceries. Eventually she finds her way down the frozen food aisle, where we chat for a while before she finishes her shopping.

Because it is such a large store and there are so many customers, I am only able to get to know a small number of customers. I am not sure why Wilma stood out. Perhaps it was because of her size. Perhaps it was because of her age. Perhaps it was because of her sweet smile. Or perhaps it was because God wanted to bring us into each other’s lives for reasons only known to Him.

One time I saw her from a distance and realized that I hadn’t seen her for quite a while. As she got closer, I saw that her face was badly bruised and realized that she had taken a nasty fall. I told her that I had missed her, and that I was glad she was doing better. From then on I was a favorite of both her and her granddaughter, Stacie, who brought her each week. They made sure that they came to the frozen food aisle each week, where we would catch up with what was going on in each other’s lives.

One day they approached me just as I was getting ready to leave for the day. They had already made their purchases and loaded them into the car when Wilma realized she had lost her wedding ring. She had worn that ring for 74 years, the last 30 years as a widow, and now it was gone. They stopped by to tell me about it before heading over to the information desk to report it, just in case someone found it.

“Grandma lost her ring,” Stacie said.

“Which one?” I asked. She usually wore 2 rings that had belonged to her mother-in-law, and I had often admired them.  One had a 4 carat diamond and the other had a 5 carat diamond.  

“Her wedding ring,” Stacie answered. It was a third ring that I had not previously noticed.

“Are you sure you had it on?” I asked Wilma.

“Yes,” she said. She was sure that she had been wearing it, and knowing how sharp her mind was, I didn’t doubt her.

After they left, I wrestled with the thought of looking for it. But what were the chances of finding a small ring in a 225,000 square foot shopping center? Also, I was already on overtime, and my supervisors were adamant about not working any overtime, especially overtime that was not approved. I thought about looking for it the next morning instead, but knew it probably would be swept up and thrown out by then, or perhaps would be found by someone who would keep it. I decided to take a quick walk to the book section, and then leave. I walked over to that section, searching along the floor as I went.  I searched throughout the book section, all the while realizing that it most likely would have fallen into the shelving as she reached for something.

I did not find it, of course, and headed back to the frozen food aisle, glancing down each aisle as I walked back. As I neared the last aisle, I decided to check the produce section quickly, since that was also one of Wilma’s regular stops, and then I would go home. I walked up and looked around the front of the section, by the banana display, and then started heading down the first aisle. There, several feet under the rack of apples, something shiny caught my eye. I reached down and picked up a wedding ring!

At first, I wasn’t sure if it was Wilma’s ring. When she described it, she had commented that it had “rows.” For some reason, probably because I’m a guy who knows nothing about rings, I thought she meant it had a “rose” pattern. But what were the chances of it being another lost wedding ring? I put the ring on my left ring finger and headed up to the information desk.

They had been waiting in line less than 5 minutes since we had talked, and were in their own words, “trying not to cry.” Wilma had resigned herself to the fact that it was “gone.” When they saw me approach with a big smile on my face and her wedding ring on my finger, they were stunned. Wilma could only manage a low moan. We all stood there looking at each other, wondering what had just happened.

The next morning I saw my two supervisors taking a coffee break. I approached them, and said to my manager, “Geoff, I stuck you for a little overtime yesterday.”

“I saw that,” he said.

“Can I tell you a little story?” I asked, as I sat down.

“Randy, I like your stories,” he replied.

With that, I told them what had happened the day before.

“Man, you can tell that story for the next 7 years!” Geoff exclaimed.

“Well, Randy, you’re forgiven for the overtime,” the other supervisor said.

Later, as I reflected on what had happened, I wondered what God was up to. If God was behind this, and I believed He was, why would He allow her to lose the ring, only to have me find it a short time later? Why would He even bother with it in the first place? What was He up to? It was obvious that God had brought Wilma and me into each other’s lives, but what did He want to do in this relationship? What did He want to communicate to Wilma through me?

I knew that God could easily work in Wilma’s life without me, or anyone else for that matter. But I also knew that is not how He usually works. Because He created us for relationships, He most often chooses to work in our lives through those relationships. I knew that Stacie had a relationship with God, but I did not know whether Wilma did. She was less talkative than Stacie about those kinds of things. I figured that at the least, I needed to make sure that she knew whether she had a relationship with God.

I wondered how to best discuss this with Wilma. I did not think it would be appropriate to do so while I was supposed to be working. I did not think that would be respectful to my employer. Wilma wanted to treat me to a nice dinner, so perhaps that would be an appropriate time. But how could I discuss this in a way that would also be gentle and respectful with Wilma? As I thought more about what God wanted to communicate through me, I realized that the best approach probably would be to share a book with her. She loved to read! I was currently reading a book, “Jesus in the Margins,” that was written by the pastor of my new church, so I asked her if she would be interested in reading it also. She said that she would, so I gave her the book.

Several weeks later I saw Stacie in the store. After telling me that they couldn’t stop telling everyone about the story of the lost wedding ring, Stacie told me that Wilma was a little embarrassed about seeing me because she hadn’t finished the book yet. She was reading it, but going through it much slower than usual. And she had gotten out her old bible and was looking up all of the verses mentioned in the book!  

I saw Wilma a few minutes later, and approached her. I noticed that she did not have a new book in her cart that week.

“Hi Wilma,” I greeted her.

“Well, hello,” she replied.

“How are you doing?” I asked.

“Good,” she replied, with a nod and a smile.

“No new book this week?” I continued.

“I haven’t finished the one you gave me. It’s a good book. You can’t read a book like that quickly,” she answered.

“Isn’t it?” I replied. “Well, take as much time as you want. I’m just thrilled that you are enjoying it.”

I noticed that she had her ring on, and we chatted about that. Stacie had mentioned that Wilma had wrapped a small piece of duct tape around the back, rather than having it cut and sized down, so that it would fit better. She liked using duct tape to fix things, including her shoes. Stacie called her “the duct tape queen.” Wilma showed me her little fix. We laughed about it, and then went our separate ways.

At the time I gave Wilma the book, I did so because it was so clear about how to have a relationship with God. As it turned out, Wilma did have a relationship with God. What she needed to hear was that she was still valuable, and that He still had a purpose for her, even at 94 years old. Several times in previous conversations she had told me she didn’t know why she was still alive. As the book so aptly points out, we live in a society that marginalizes people because of things like age, race, gender or social status. And Wilma needed to hear that even though she was 94 years old, God still had a reason for keeping her alive. She was not expendable. He still loved her dearly, and He always would, until she breathed her last breath, and then for all eternity! And I believe that one of the reasons He brought me into her life was to communicate that to her.

If I had only considered what God wanted to communicate to Wilma through me, I think that I would have missed a big part of what God was up to, because He was speaking to me just as much as He was speaking to her. I had just recently stepped down from the leadership in a ministry to singles in their 30s and 40s. The church had chosen not to provide any pastoral care to those hurt singles, and I had poured myself into them to the point of complete exhaustion. It was time for me to move on. One of the ministries I was considering was going back into music ministry, which I had done as a young adult. I was told by my pastor that I was “too old” to do that.

As I reflected on both my situation and the situation of the broken and hurting singles that I had been ministering to I realized that the same God who would never put Wilma in the margins because she was too old, would also never put me in the margins because I was “too old” to pursue a different ministry. God was clearly showing me that He was still going to show up in whatever ministry I did in the future. And the same God who cared about that dear 94 year old woman who wondered why she was still alive, also cared about those older singles that desperately needed pastoral care.

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime,
        Yes, even when your hair is white with age.
I made you and I will care for you.
        I will carry you along and be your Savior.”
                                                                          Isaiah 46:4  The Living Bible

4 thoughts on “Lord of the Ring”

  1. Mary Bourn Richey

    His Mercies are new every morning 🙏🏼
    I’ll tell you my story of what I call a God shot. I moved off the mountain and relocated in Corvallis where I met my husband Larry Richey. His parents owned Richey’s market that was the favorite mom and pop store for 50 years.
    Most of our costumes were seniors that had shopped exclusively there and they’re children followed suit. Our produce department was a big draw because Larry’s uncle had a farm that filled the produce isle with fresh from the garden produce. They also would drive to Washington for apples the Dalles for cherry’s or where ever fresh fruit was available. I managed the Deli for the last twenty years we were open but worked where I was needed . One day I was out rounding up carts in the parking lot when I recognized someone I hadn’t seen since high school, Your sister Cheryl had just walked out from shopping. We had a great time reminiscing and catching up. She too was a loyal customer that was God shot #1
    Next is a tale of a lost wedding band. One of our customers had lost her ring somewhere in the store. She was in tears as she was relating to my father in law how much the band meant to her and how her husband had sold his beloved Ford pickup truck to buy her that wedding band and she was pleading him to please help her find it. I sat her down with a of tea and the search was on. About ten of us looked through the store high and low to no avail. After closing and before the floor crew came my husband and I scoured the store again. We informed the floor crew of the missing band and to be on the lookout for it , no luck there either.
    We looked everyday for that band and Betty would come in everyday with renewed hope only to be let down again. This was in the summer time with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables came in daily, one morning larry was switching out a pallet of watermelons and when he set the pallet down in the back of the store he saw something rolling across the pavement and low and behold it was Bettys ring! She had been picking out a watermelon and it dropped to the bottom of the box. God shot #2
    She was so happy to get her band back that she wrote a thank you letter and posted it the local news paper. She baked cookies, brownies, and pies and brought them to the store every time she came to shop. So many years have passed since we’ve seen each other yet our lives paralleled in many ways. God is awesome.
    I loved your stores and your unwavering faith in God.

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